Weak to Weak

Hear me out when I say this,
we all have weaknesses.

And I think there are a lot of times I feel guilty over weaknesses that God is already showing His strength through, but the real weaknesses that have become sins that have hurt other people, I really just want to ignore those and turn my music up louder.
Thankfully, we serve a God so full of grace.

Monday I got to go home and see my family and my boyfriend, Andrew.
The times I spend at home are the times I have to be most on alert to the sensitive conviction of the Holy Spirit and the negative defeat of my own guilt.
It's easy to hear both voices but easier to listen to one.
Humility does not mean we let our inner self rip us to shreds over our mistakes so that we can become "Holy" before God. Humility is realizing we're all broken and out of our brokenness we make a whole lot of mistakes, and no one is better than the next. We all need Jesus.
So when I hear the tender voice of conviction, it might sting, but the recovery is so much easier because forgiveness and grace offer a lot of healing whereas guilt only leads to more brokenness and a lot of destruction...

And as I sit down, contemplating how to best show my heart for these kids and how to reach them each week as we study God, I can't help but pause in the midst of writing.
Because there is so much to say about God. So much to teach.
But the truth is, I want them to know the real God, not just the God on a page.
I don't want to teach them in a manner that is just memorized truth being recited back.
I want to testify about the God that IS and ALWAYS WILL BE.
The more intimate I grow with God the more I come to truly know His heart and I hope these kids see that, His Heart.
I hope it beats out of me every second we're together and that they are drawn into a God who meets them right where they're at.
I know it's not dependent on my words, or my ability to speak. Paul says in 1 Corinthians that he decided to know nothing but Jesus and Him crucified; not that he would come with pretty words and elegant speech, but with the power of the Holy Spirit so that people may rest on that alone.
I may not have the perfect way of saying it, but when I stop and think of all I've learned and know about God, my heart lights up.
I can't wait to share that.

Oh, I hope you know Him.
and I truly hope you continue to cling to Him no matter what you're facing.
Cause I wrestle day in and day out with all kinds of struggles, but it's my God who fights on my behalf.
And He has freed me!
what Joy, what Joy for those whose Hope is in the name of the Lord.