May your days be Merry and Light....

If I wasn't doing youth ministry I can't imagine what I would be doing with my time.
Sure, it's not the title of Youth Minister that defines me. But the calling to follow Jesus has lead me into a deep heart desire to reach out to youth everywhere and anywhere. Nothing else seems....right.
It's like to follow Jesus means to reach youth for His truth and Gospel Message. And I know this passion has been placed on my life.
So with every new day, I am excited to be a part of what God is doing in the lives of youth.

To Update You:
Eastside Youth (still looking for a name!) began meeting weekly in November. We meet every Sunday night and there are about 6 students who are consistent in meeting.
God has blessed me with incredible opportunities to spend time and build relationships with other youth both new to and outside of the church.

From the start I have expected God to show up and do what only He can do. I came into ministry praying for life-change. But when you begin to see it right before you, it's beyond comparison. God has been working simply through the context of relationships. As I have been able to know this kids and spend quality time with them I see doors opening that previously were tightly shut. And the more and more I dive in and have experiences with these students, the more I am surprised at what there is to learn about their lives.

I was telling a friend yesterday that lately I have been reminded of how first impressions and outside perceptions are never accurate. Maybe there is some truth that shines through, but I am so perplexed every time I learn something from someone that I never would have expected.
And this reminder has been coming specifically through the youth I have been spending time with. 
And as I think I've made such leeway I only come to learn that I have only scratched the surface. Sometimes that's the biggest challenge, but it's also a great joy.

My job is not to tell these kids what's right and what's wrong. I know there will be times that is necessary, but more and more I am learning that is the Holy Spirit's job. To convict, to reveal and to teach. All I can really do is speak and model truth about who Jesus is, then pray that they would center their lives completely around him. I can only ask for students who fall madly in love with their creator and live their lives in worship to Him. 
I look forward to that.

So there are challenges ahead, but as I said at the beginning, I wouldn't want to be doing anything else. So every challenge is worth the fight.

As we look at the upcoming season of Eastside Youth I am praying about becoming more of a presence in the Warren/Roseville/Fraser area. I have seen great movement there and feel deep within myself that something is stirring. So, I would DEEPLY appreciate any prayers that join in with that: to see God's will be done, to gain clarity as we move forward, to let God do what only He can do, and to make moves that are helpful, and effective.

Thank you to ALL for joining me in this journey. I'm thankful to walk alongside you in the mission!
Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas!! :)
Enjoy time with whoever you're spending it with and remember that God is with you wherever you go.
XO.

His Daughter,
Jessica 

"Don't tell me what I can't do..."

Lately I have been thinking about God's faithfulness.
As a friend of mine was wrestling through long awaited answers that didn't end up being at all what she was waiting for or hoping for, I was driving in my car praying for her, knowing her heart had to be heavy.
And all that crossed my mind that night that seemed worthy of attempting to bring her comfort was the sunset I was driving towards in my car.
That sunset on this night reminded me of God's faithfulness.
His genuine faithfulness.
Every day the sun rises.
Every day the sun sets.
Every day I wake up with breath in my lungs.
With a new day full of new adventures and new stories to be told.
But that sunset specifically....
I've seen more beautiful. I've driven prettier drives going prettier places.
But something about needing to encourage someone else rather than searching for it for yourself hits you fresher.
I drove trying to find something that could connect my heart to hers then I breathed in that sunset.
My being just rejoiced in God's faithfulness and I thought, "yup. that's true. and that's all we can count on most days.'

I don't want to act like those words medicate every and any kind of problem. They don't. I have no idea what you've been through. All I'm saying is God is present, He does show up, and we see it all around.

Yesterday I met with a different friend where we talked about social media being such a distraction for people (especially teens) from having real, vulnerable, human conversations.
And then today 3 girls from the youth group and I went to an event about building community.
And in a world where temporary satisfactions are met time after time after time it seems like there is no way of genuinely reaching people anymore for what they truly need. Because it doesn't seem like people really want to put forth the effort to dig into what God is really about.
But as I drive home today I'm reminded, God is faithful. He will show up in ways I can't.

I can't worry about tomorrow, or worry about my ministry, or worry that I'll never be able to truly get across the life-changing message that transforms my heart day in and day out.
And after years and years of worrying about my capabilities, It comes to a place where I just have to rest, right? Cause it seems to have the only potential of working.
And I have to trust that God is faithful.

I am so excited for what God is doing here. Spending time with these girls today was a joy! They have such unique and gifted personalities. I love knowing them more and more because at the end of the event I was walking out with them and God has truly blessed me with spectacular women.
But I know I could give them more. Be more. Teach them more. Understand them more. Pray for them more. Couldn't I? Shouldn't I?

Lord, I lay myself down before you and confess I can't ever be enough. I'm sorry for trying to be more than I need to be. God thank you for your faithfulness not only in my life but in every one's life. You are faithful when we are not. You know my prayers. You hear my prayers. And you answer them in the best way possible. Thank you for Jesus. I live because He is Alive.
Amen.

Friends, I wish this was easy. I wish seeing that sunset and trusting in God's faithfulness was enough for me to never doubt again.
But I don't think that is how faith works.
It's a process that grows moment by moment and trial by trial. 
Cause He will always show up. And we will always Praise Him.

I love you for you.
As you join me in this and in prayer please pray specifically:

• I would schedule my time in a healthy effective way
• God would give me fresh and relevant ideas
• I would trust in His almighty plan and presence in my life
• The students in the youth group as well as in this area would KNOW God and meet Him face to face in a powerful way that changes their perspective and worldview.
• That I would rest in His faithfulness, whatever that looks like!

Thank you for joining me on this journey. It means the world to have you by my side!

Weak to Weak

Hear me out when I say this,
we all have weaknesses.

And I think there are a lot of times I feel guilty over weaknesses that God is already showing His strength through, but the real weaknesses that have become sins that have hurt other people, I really just want to ignore those and turn my music up louder.
Thankfully, we serve a God so full of grace.

Monday I got to go home and see my family and my boyfriend, Andrew.
The times I spend at home are the times I have to be most on alert to the sensitive conviction of the Holy Spirit and the negative defeat of my own guilt.
It's easy to hear both voices but easier to listen to one.
Humility does not mean we let our inner self rip us to shreds over our mistakes so that we can become "Holy" before God. Humility is realizing we're all broken and out of our brokenness we make a whole lot of mistakes, and no one is better than the next. We all need Jesus.
So when I hear the tender voice of conviction, it might sting, but the recovery is so much easier because forgiveness and grace offer a lot of healing whereas guilt only leads to more brokenness and a lot of destruction...

And as I sit down, contemplating how to best show my heart for these kids and how to reach them each week as we study God, I can't help but pause in the midst of writing.
Because there is so much to say about God. So much to teach.
But the truth is, I want them to know the real God, not just the God on a page.
I don't want to teach them in a manner that is just memorized truth being recited back.
I want to testify about the God that IS and ALWAYS WILL BE.
The more intimate I grow with God the more I come to truly know His heart and I hope these kids see that, His Heart.
I hope it beats out of me every second we're together and that they are drawn into a God who meets them right where they're at.
I know it's not dependent on my words, or my ability to speak. Paul says in 1 Corinthians that he decided to know nothing but Jesus and Him crucified; not that he would come with pretty words and elegant speech, but with the power of the Holy Spirit so that people may rest on that alone.
I may not have the perfect way of saying it, but when I stop and think of all I've learned and know about God, my heart lights up.
I can't wait to share that.

Oh, I hope you know Him.
and I truly hope you continue to cling to Him no matter what you're facing.
Cause I wrestle day in and day out with all kinds of struggles, but it's my God who fights on my behalf.
And He has freed me!
what Joy, what Joy for those whose Hope is in the name of the Lord.

September 15th, 2013.

Father God,
Guide my words as I write. Guide my steps as I lead. This world is yours. I am yours. Lead me like only You can. I love you, mighty King. :)
Your Girl.

There's a lot to say in a short time, but I am so honored to share stories with you.
Some days It's hard to believe that I'm here. 23 years old, working for a church who has blessed me in countless ways, where the hearts of the people who serve here are inspiring and welcoming, a place far away from what I've always known and yet I feel like family. A place that believes in me, supports me, prays for me and encourages me. I never pictured a place like this.
I never pictured being a 23 year old youth pastor at a church who is 3 years old and never had a youth pastor before. I never imagined starting something like this from the ground up. I never thought I'd gain the skills, understanding, or drive needed to do something like this, and I still have a long way to go.
But God knew. Isn't that cool?
And looking back He has been preparing me in steps and seasons all along the way for things coming in the future. He knows me. And He's bigger than anything, so my inabilities don't compare to His ability and His power. 
With that being said I am daily humbled by His power; by His choice to move in and work with His people. I'm doing something I love! And I'm doing it with God. So when I look at my inability, my lack of understanding, my own failures, He's quick to remind me of His peace and His placing.
I am not at The Eastside by accident, and that's cool too.

And so with all the nerves in the world, but as much trust as I have in a faithful God, the first ever TEVC Youth Event was held on Sunday, September 15, 2013!
The goal was to build relationships.
Simple. Let the students come.
Let them be themselves.
Offer them snacks.
Facilitate conversation.
And help them to know that here, with these people, they're safe.
So without any previous time spent altogether I watched as kids came walking through the front door to be a part of an evening full of students their own age, conversation, s'mores and games.
Most of the students I have had a chance to begin getting to know one on one through church. So, seeing them in a setting like this was new. Not to mention most of them didn't really know each other.

So first, we grabbed snacks. Donuts, cider, chips, salsa, cookies, etc. and we talked.
"Let's go around and say our name. Tell an interesting fact about you or what you're into" was the opener.
And as kids got chances to talk about themselves cool connections were made. Doors were open.
Throughout the night we played games that I thought were awesome, but most of them hated.
(like Catch Phrase....c'mon now.)
And yet still, connections were made through that, and people came out of their shell.
As the night progressed we made our way out to the bonfire even with misty rain falling.
We roasted s'mores, played more games, asked each other questions and I could not help but be impressed with the students. They were allowing themselves to be themselves and I didn't have to do any prodding.
They felt comfortable.
And they were excited to be there.
I was so delighted and loved watching their personalities come out!
One student brought a football with him, and while he was the only kid in the group who played a sport, everyone jumped up to play.
Most of them saying "I've never played before, but i'll try it out!" and not scared to potentially look like a fool.
Relationships.
Safety.
The rest of the night was a mix of games and conversation and cold wet feet.
The night wrapped up and slowly kids started getting picked up.
With the help of the awesome hosts, we cleaned up the place and I drove home late that evening with excitement.

As Dan told me in our meeting that following week, he had prepared to give me a pep talk. Thinking with the rain, the little amount of students we have in our church who fit the age group, and this being our first event ever, that maybe it would end up just being me and this would have been just a start to making something happen.
But when 9 students came, 4 of whom don't attend our church, and 5 out of the 9 being boys (which was unexpected) we were all smiles and thanking God.

We at Eastside firmly believe God is up to something here. I feel totally not equipped, but I know He is preparing me day by day and that He has it.
I'm just excited to be along for the journey =]

So whatever you're wrestling with God about.
Wherever you're feeling you're not capable of.
Whatever nerves are sprouting up and getting you to sit still rather than move forward,
Trust in God.
If He wills it, He'll do it. and He is faithful.
Just try.
And had the night been just me and no kids, it would have been ok.
Cause it's not failure God is concerned about, it's development.
See what He is doing, and join in!

Thanks for being a part of this with me and for all your prayers :)

Something worth telling.

Lately I've been thinking about what it is that drew me into Jesus.  How did I decide that He's worth following and who was it that first helped me understand who Jesus is.
What was it for you?

A youth pastor?  Your family?  Kids at school? A billboard, tv show, magazine article?  A desperate situation? Your own curiosity?
I don't know whether you follow God or don't care about God, but this I know, no one's story is the same.  And there is no one model for telling someone about the God who saves.  Every person has their real story with their real hurt, their real curiosity and their very real needs. Praise God He meets us where we're at rather than asking us to fit a mold.

I'm currently reading a book titled Jesus Brand Spirituality where author Ken Wilson writes:

I had been to confirmation class as a kid.  I memorized the Ten Commandments and the Apostle's Creed and the longer Nicene Creed. The class influenced and informed me, but at the time it didn't take. I got hung up on a question I never bothered to ask in class: 'Why would God want to be praised? Is He some kind of egomaniac?' I couldn't swallow the package, and I didn't feel that questioning the package was allowed. After confirmation, I stopped going to church.
Several years later, I read the gospel of Matthew in a weak moment. My fascination with Jesus had begun, and reading the Bible only made it worse. I was impressed by the Jesus portrayed in Matthew.  ....I didn't have any opinions about whether the Bible was the Word of God and, if so, in what sense. I didn't have any opinions about whether Jesus was born of a virgin. I didn't have any opinions about the existence of or the nature of heaven and hell or whether Jesus was the only way a person could connect with God. I had impressions from the teaching of Jesus in the Gospels about these things, but they were sketchy. I wasn't always sure how he was using terms and what exactly he meant by things he said touching on these topics.
The package that drew me wasn't the system of Christian doctrine. The package was the person, Jesus. And thankfully, thankfully, thankfully - the people around me who were on their own path toward the center thought that was just fine. I didn't feel any pressure from them to swallow any faith package whole. I just felt a sense of shared excitement with them about taking one step closer to knowing.
So I offered myself to Jesus as a disciple, a student, a follower. (pgs. 64-65)

Coming into this job I have a heart created by God to reach out to teens. I believe there is hope for them that they rarely get a chance to see. I know that what might be effective for one as far as sharing that hope may not be effective for another.
So as a person working in a church, but more importantly as a follower of Jesus Christ himself, I pledge to get to know God's people. Not for who I think they should be. Or for what they may be in the future. But for who they are now; a person wired and created by God to know Him and to impact the world for His kingdom through their own unique life.
I'd like to think I could spew the same information at every person and expect it to make all the difference, but how much more exciting to have the opportunity to get to know the heartbeat of everyone I come into contact with? And to see how God is a part of every single story no matter the age, race, denomination or history. That's a God I love serving. That's a God passionate about adventure.
Invite Him in.
Share what He's done for you. 

Thanks for being a part of the story :)

Eastside Story part 3.

After a few weeks of back and forth communication with Joe, I got the go ahead to send in my resume to Dan.  And me and Dan began e-mailing regularly back and forth.
There are so many specifics I could share.  God was doing so much in that time.  And every time I got an e-mail from Dan I was not only overwhelmingly excited, but I was amazed at how God was answering such specific prayers of mine.  Everything I was learning about the church and about Dan and his family was so encouraging and direct with where I felt God was moving in my life.  Even things I wasn't praying about but more worrying about God answered! And it almost seemed too good to be true.
Dan and I even read through a book together and discussed it over e-mail!  It was a lot of fun getting to know him and being able to learn about his heart and the story of Eastside.
As time went on I became more and more confident that THIS was where God was leading.  And He was aligning things to perfectly.

As I was heavily considering Shelby Township being my new home, I started to worry about leaving my close-knit His House community and moving to a place where I literally knew no one. 
And then God spilled over answers to that prayer request.
A close friend of mine, someone I've known since freshman year of CMU, and was in a wedding with me this past June told me that she was moving home to Troy and would be around for a while.
Ding! So happy to have a friend.
Then a dear friend was on my mind for about a week straight.  She had graduated from CMU and moved home and I was missing her a lot.  I kept thinking I needed to get in touch with her soon.  throughout that week her name continued to come up in random conversations with people reminding me that I needed to get ahold of her.  Well sure enough, she happened to drive into Mount Pleasant and be at Church that Thursday night without me ever having gotten in touch with her.  I just saw her!  We began to catch up and she told me that she was living and working in Rochester! Just a brief 20 min drive from where I would be.
Ding! Another prayer answered.
Then, there were two girls specifically that God had placed in my life through dance and mission trips.  They were best friends and I got the joy of baptizing one last summer.  Both of them were going to be near Rochester and Utica student teaching this fall.
Our God is good! and if you don't believe in God....well, He's good!!

All of these specifics kept piling up and I was becoming more and more convinced that God is up to something big.
Then, the icing on the cake.  I decided to go to Eastside Vineyards website because I hadn't visited it before.  And right there, on the main page, in bold font and fun colors read Galatians 5:6 "What is important is Faith expressing itself through Love."
This verse my best friend painted on a canvas for me for Christmas and I had sitting by the window in my room because it is by far one of my favorite verses.  I stumbled across that verse some time in the beginning of college and ever since have held it dear as a motto and way to live out my faith.
It's a non-negotiable for me and something I see as extremely important to live by as a Christ follower.
And there is was, as a banner Eastside was waving and firmly believing.
Not only do they believe it, but in these past few weeks I've been able to see how they truly put it into practice.

God continued to astonish me.  And each moment seemed to be more and more exciting.  Needless to say my faith grew in the process.
So, I came to visit two separate weekends and stayed with Dan and his family.  Dan continued to remind me that It was so important for me to feel like this was a church I'd go to if it wasn't my job.
And I firmly believe and know that.
This church has become home.
And the more I discover about the heart behind the ministry the more I believe in what it's doing and in the people here.
God is certainly at work, all I need to do is trust Him.
He obviously  has a plan.  Yes, for me. Yes, for Eastside. But even more importantly to me is He has a plan for these youth.  A bigger plan than I could ever dream of.  And He is putting it into effect.
I can't begin to express my thankfulness.  And every day I have to surrender my control and put my trust in my God who IS more than capable and who is already at work.
Thanks for letting me be a part of this story and this journey.
And I hope you continue to join what God is doing here and what He is doing in your own life.
God is everywhere, and He is at work.  It's powerful stuff.

1 Thessalonians 5:24 "He who calls you is Faithful; He will surely do it."
1 Peter 4:19 "So then, those that suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to a Faithful Creator and continue to do good."

Eastside Story part 2.

Fast forward to college.  Still certain that I want to go into ministry, but attending Central Michigan University which is definitely not a "Christian school".  I was majoring in Communication (which I loved) and minoring in Youth Studies (which I loved even more).  Those two areas of study really taught me a lot and I believe God used them in profound ways to shape me in where I am now.
But right away in college I got involved in a campus ministry called His House and as soon as possible I started taking on leadership roles.  I lead a lifegroup my sophomore year, the dance team and youth group my junior year, the dance team and a spring break team my senior year and then came on staff with His House after Graduation as the Dance Ministry Intern.  As a staff member I lead the Dance Ministry team including the leaders of the team, co-lead a spring break mission trip to Dallas, TX and just returned on July 12 from a month long mission to South Africa which I co-lead as well.
I absolutely love the ministry of His House and loved what I did and the people I got to know.
But something was stirring in me that this wasn't it.
As much as I love college ministry and really really love dance, I knew God was calling me to youth.
And I became determined to find a job working with youth.
Even my supervisor at His House told me how thankful he was for my work and how much needed I've been in the ministry, but he couldn't deny my calling and gifting to work specifically with youth.
So I applied to different jobs, talked with a strong connection I had near home, and considered my options.
I had a lot to think about and I wrestled with ever settling on a decision.
I could never say "yes" to jobs that came my way, I just felt unsettled.

Then there was an interesting moment.
I was having an off-day (sometimes off-days seem more normal than whatever "on-days" would be...but you get it), and I was feeling really frustrated with my own shortcomings.
I was driving to go pick up a friend and just started praying out loud.
At first I was praying for God's guidance and direction to lead me in my life.
That I didn't want to make any decision apart from Him and I want to live in His wisdom every day.  I was praying that I wouldn't ignore His voice and I would know where He is moving and leading.
Then, without any conscious decision on my own, I just started praying for the next year very specifically.
Words were flowing from me that I didn't even have time to truly hold on to the thought.
I started praying specifically for guidance and direction in where God was leading me this next upcoming school year.
That I felt called out of College Ministry and into Youth Ministry and that I wanted to know where He was leading me and what He was doing.
As I pulled in to pick up my friend, put the car in park and said "Amen!", my phone rang.
It was Dave who was my boss at His House and oversees the creative arts department.
He had just got a call from Joe Vercellino.
Joe recently graduated from CMU and worked at His House for a period of time as well.  I knew him well because of His House and many experiences we had together.
Now Joe was teaching and working part time at a church.
His call to Dave was about his church looking for a youth pastor and wondering if Dave had any recommendations.
Dave wanted to recommend me, if that was ok.

So, here I am, feeling called to Youth Ministry, finding my season with college ministry wrapping up, applying for jobs but not feeling strongly about pursuing them (for whatever reason), and as I'm driving down the road praying mainly out of frustration, God leads me to praying specifically about His guidance and direction for just a few months down the road, and then the phone rings.
I stuttered to respond to Dave and told him I would be grateful if he put my name in.
That moment I will never forget.
I remember not being exactly sure about what just happened, and not being sure if that was real, but I couldn't wait to find out more. 

Find out more in the next and final blog about this incredible journey!
So thankful to YOU for being a part of it :)