"Don't tell me what I can't do..."

Lately I have been thinking about God's faithfulness.
As a friend of mine was wrestling through long awaited answers that didn't end up being at all what she was waiting for or hoping for, I was driving in my car praying for her, knowing her heart had to be heavy.
And all that crossed my mind that night that seemed worthy of attempting to bring her comfort was the sunset I was driving towards in my car.
That sunset on this night reminded me of God's faithfulness.
His genuine faithfulness.
Every day the sun rises.
Every day the sun sets.
Every day I wake up with breath in my lungs.
With a new day full of new adventures and new stories to be told.
But that sunset specifically....
I've seen more beautiful. I've driven prettier drives going prettier places.
But something about needing to encourage someone else rather than searching for it for yourself hits you fresher.
I drove trying to find something that could connect my heart to hers then I breathed in that sunset.
My being just rejoiced in God's faithfulness and I thought, "yup. that's true. and that's all we can count on most days.'

I don't want to act like those words medicate every and any kind of problem. They don't. I have no idea what you've been through. All I'm saying is God is present, He does show up, and we see it all around.

Yesterday I met with a different friend where we talked about social media being such a distraction for people (especially teens) from having real, vulnerable, human conversations.
And then today 3 girls from the youth group and I went to an event about building community.
And in a world where temporary satisfactions are met time after time after time it seems like there is no way of genuinely reaching people anymore for what they truly need. Because it doesn't seem like people really want to put forth the effort to dig into what God is really about.
But as I drive home today I'm reminded, God is faithful. He will show up in ways I can't.

I can't worry about tomorrow, or worry about my ministry, or worry that I'll never be able to truly get across the life-changing message that transforms my heart day in and day out.
And after years and years of worrying about my capabilities, It comes to a place where I just have to rest, right? Cause it seems to have the only potential of working.
And I have to trust that God is faithful.

I am so excited for what God is doing here. Spending time with these girls today was a joy! They have such unique and gifted personalities. I love knowing them more and more because at the end of the event I was walking out with them and God has truly blessed me with spectacular women.
But I know I could give them more. Be more. Teach them more. Understand them more. Pray for them more. Couldn't I? Shouldn't I?

Lord, I lay myself down before you and confess I can't ever be enough. I'm sorry for trying to be more than I need to be. God thank you for your faithfulness not only in my life but in every one's life. You are faithful when we are not. You know my prayers. You hear my prayers. And you answer them in the best way possible. Thank you for Jesus. I live because He is Alive.
Amen.

Friends, I wish this was easy. I wish seeing that sunset and trusting in God's faithfulness was enough for me to never doubt again.
But I don't think that is how faith works.
It's a process that grows moment by moment and trial by trial. 
Cause He will always show up. And we will always Praise Him.

I love you for you.
As you join me in this and in prayer please pray specifically:

• I would schedule my time in a healthy effective way
• God would give me fresh and relevant ideas
• I would trust in His almighty plan and presence in my life
• The students in the youth group as well as in this area would KNOW God and meet Him face to face in a powerful way that changes their perspective and worldview.
• That I would rest in His faithfulness, whatever that looks like!

Thank you for joining me on this journey. It means the world to have you by my side!

Weak to Weak

Hear me out when I say this,
we all have weaknesses.

And I think there are a lot of times I feel guilty over weaknesses that God is already showing His strength through, but the real weaknesses that have become sins that have hurt other people, I really just want to ignore those and turn my music up louder.
Thankfully, we serve a God so full of grace.

Monday I got to go home and see my family and my boyfriend, Andrew.
The times I spend at home are the times I have to be most on alert to the sensitive conviction of the Holy Spirit and the negative defeat of my own guilt.
It's easy to hear both voices but easier to listen to one.
Humility does not mean we let our inner self rip us to shreds over our mistakes so that we can become "Holy" before God. Humility is realizing we're all broken and out of our brokenness we make a whole lot of mistakes, and no one is better than the next. We all need Jesus.
So when I hear the tender voice of conviction, it might sting, but the recovery is so much easier because forgiveness and grace offer a lot of healing whereas guilt only leads to more brokenness and a lot of destruction...

And as I sit down, contemplating how to best show my heart for these kids and how to reach them each week as we study God, I can't help but pause in the midst of writing.
Because there is so much to say about God. So much to teach.
But the truth is, I want them to know the real God, not just the God on a page.
I don't want to teach them in a manner that is just memorized truth being recited back.
I want to testify about the God that IS and ALWAYS WILL BE.
The more intimate I grow with God the more I come to truly know His heart and I hope these kids see that, His Heart.
I hope it beats out of me every second we're together and that they are drawn into a God who meets them right where they're at.
I know it's not dependent on my words, or my ability to speak. Paul says in 1 Corinthians that he decided to know nothing but Jesus and Him crucified; not that he would come with pretty words and elegant speech, but with the power of the Holy Spirit so that people may rest on that alone.
I may not have the perfect way of saying it, but when I stop and think of all I've learned and know about God, my heart lights up.
I can't wait to share that.

Oh, I hope you know Him.
and I truly hope you continue to cling to Him no matter what you're facing.
Cause I wrestle day in and day out with all kinds of struggles, but it's my God who fights on my behalf.
And He has freed me!
what Joy, what Joy for those whose Hope is in the name of the Lord.