No One's Perfect.

I am an imperfect worshiper.
Full of daily mistakes and constant worries, I know that I never can measure up to the goodness of God.
But that's what makes me worship Him all the more.
Everyone has a story to tell. and everyone's story is it's own.  No two stories could ever be the same. And with my story, I choose to worship God.
As a little girl worshiping God was easy.  I had a love for Him that came naturally. Jesus was my best friend and I was proud to say it!  Sitting in church was so much of a joy for me that I hated going to kids class and wanted to be where the adults were.  Something about knowing God felt so right.
But as I've added years to my life I've found that worshiping God gets a little harder.  Sometimes it isn't so innate.  Sometimes I have to choose to do it even when everything around me isn't going so well and I don't really understand God.
Because even though God is perfect, life isn't; humans aren't.  And everyday I see brokenness in others and in myself that makes me wonder if that's all there is.
There was a very specific time in my life where I had to redefine my understanding of God altogether.
If it was natural and easy before it became extremely confusing and difficult to worship God.  A lot in my life was coming undone at the seams and I was standing on shaky ground.  Everything around me felt unsafe. And if God had protected me my whole life, what was stopping Him from doing so now?  And what did I do to push His protection away?
Questions like that begin to take over your desire for worship and begin to instill a sense of control.
"Something made God stop protecting me, and I've got to start getting it together so He always protect me and never stops again."
How scary.  I was pushed into the arms of God, but not necessarily because I felt safe with Him, but more because it was all I knew to do (which I am thankful for!) and because I wanted to make right whatever I had made wrong.
Praise God for His faithfulness.  He never left me.
Never, ever, ever.  Not in a single moment of that brokenness was God ever far away.  Nor will He ever be in the brokenness I see now and the brokenness to come.
Oh, how beautiful!
It's through God's faithfulness that I began to see how God never left me.  And that in every moment He was not only with me, but He was teaching me.
Romans 8:28 says "For we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose." (ESV)
So no, I don't believe that God intends for bad things to happen.  I don't think He initiates it or enjoys seeing it happen.  I believe His heart breaks over injustice.  And I believe He is sad to see the sons of man turn away from Him and choose evil.
But I do know, that God takes what was intended for evil and turns it into good for those who love God and invite Him in.
So when devastating circumstances happen around me, I can look to Him and know that it pains Him even more and that I am safe to come running to a God who understands and who will use it for good in my life because He loves me.
So, I'm not perfect.  Never have been, never will be.  At least not through my own human abilities.
But oh, how I delight in worshiping God with my life. Because He is so good and so worthy.  And because in Him I have true freedom. Freedom to be me and to tell the story of Him through my life.

And that's what brings me to Eastside. Because I believe God will use me here and teach me here.  Because of all the hope I have found in God I can't help but want to share it; specifically to teens who may not know how they can worship God in the midst of so much brokenness.
The cool, long version of how I came to Eastside will come soon.  But know, that I have a heart to spread the hope of Christ everywhere to all people!
And I hope you find the way God is moving in your life and how He desires to reach into the middle of your life and situation and make good. :)
Thanks for being a part of the story.